Boring!
In today's tough, troubling, tenebrous times, we all need a reason to SMILE. So it's time to flip the form, invert the verse and spin the stanza - it's time to SMILE.
Open up this book, which deals with issues from Vegetables & Beer to Medusa & 90s Action Movies to Insects & Sex, and let the playful and wonderfully pun-filled words put a SMILE upon your lips. There is a poem in here for everyone, even the kids - if they like zombies and 10ft tall boys! (Warning: please don't let kids read this book, most of the content is not suitable for them!)
Grab yourself a beverage, get comfy and let's get a SMILE upon your lips, courtesy of Punzen Quipps and Twistan Tripps!
FAQ's!
Questioning anything? You may find the answer below.
What is SMILE?
SMILE is a captivating collection of humorous poetry designed to evoke laughter and brighten the spirits of its readers.
Why should I SMILE?
Your smile can affect another persons day. So let's spread the happiness. It can take 5 - 53 muscles to make you smile. This can be technically considered a work-out.
So buy a copy of SMILE by Jonny B, save on gym fees and make someone else's day!
Why should I pay for a copy of SMILE by Jonny B?
Art can't exist without suffering. I suffer enough without external sources, so if you buy a copy of SMILE by Jonny B then you'll be adding a cup of coffee to my existential suffering.
Who is Jonny B?
Jonny B is a talented poet known for his humorous poetry that delights readers and brings joy to their lives.
^- (This is what it looks like, when you trust AI.)
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For a full human-written bio, scroll down this website. Or buy a copy of SMILE by Jonny B!
What are the TWO secret messages?
Then it wouldn't be a secret, but here is a clue, both of the messages start with you. While one requires a little rhyming to do, the other one is hidden in plain view.
How many beer references are there in Once Upon a Middy-night Beery?
The answer is on the next page!
If you think I have miscounted, please send me a message and I will show you where they all are.
If you got them all right, please send me picture proof and I'll replace your defaced copy when I buy you a beer!
What does Punzen Quipps have to say?
“I like the word play and witty remarks.”
And what about Twistan Tripps?
“I am all about the misdirection and trickery.”
I have found a grammar/spelling mistake.
Well done, Super Sleuth! If you think it's worthy of my attention then please hit contact me below and let me know; or post it on your socials and let the world judge me.
I'm offended!
Okay. Put the book down and step away into a safe space. Take a deep breath in......and out... Now, repeat after me: "There is no such thing as an offensive joke, only an offended person." Now realise that the issue might be something else other than this book.
Possible Praise for SMILE by Jonny B
*(Some views expressed here are not necessarily the views held by the individual)
"He's never made me anything. I didn't even know he was good at pottery."
"It's crass, sexualised vulgarity. I love it!"
"I adore this book! Some of the poems have onion-like layers."
"He's my favourite poet in the world. He's very handsome and a great lover too. There is no one in this world better than Jonny B. He is the best! Is that what you wanted me to say?"
"The secret to my success is my winning smile. So I carry a copy of this book at all times, because I'm eager to buy a new island."
"If I ever die, please read an excerpt of SMILE by Jonny B. Heck, read the whole damn book at my eulogy."
"Shakespeare is almost certainly rolling in his grave. With laughter and admiration!"
"This book needs to be blended up, added to a crystalloid solution, and injected into the arm of every person in the world as a vaccine to combat the rising rate of global depression."
"Hey! I remember this guy! Not as much of a dick as I thought he was."
"I told you, if I have nothing nice to say, then I won't say anything at all."
"We probably shouldn't be reading this."
"It's no coincidence that my next film is about an amazing Australian poet who tries to make people laugh."
SMILE by Jonny B
A free sample of what your hard earned money will buy you:
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Jonny B
Jonny B (or Jonathan Barrett as he is more affectionately known to the ATO) is a word nerd and grammar Neanderthal who likes to perform his poetry on stage because then it doesn’t matter where, or wheren’t, his apostrophes are, or aren’t.
He has performed his poetry to sold-out audiences on the main stage at Sydney Opera House, and also to a handful of drunks on a pallet at a craft brewery in Perth. Wherever he is, he just wants to make people smile.
When he’s not working or writing, Jonny B enjoys a relaxing drink in the garden or the pub with his Puppy Princes Colin & Vincent, Pussycat Princess Morgan, and his Queen, wife Converse Celebrant Karli Louise (Jonny B is the Jester of the royal household).